Family & Friends
Being the family member or friend of a hoarder can be challenging. It is difficult to know the right things to say and how best to help a loved one who experiences compulsive hoarding disorder. Know that you are not alone. Below are some helpful tips.
How to Help
- Good communication is essential
- Establish trust by not touching items unless the individual allows it
- Focus on harm reduction rather than just getting rid of clutter
- Listen and be there for them during this time
- Recognize any positive change that they have made, and do not point out the negatives
- It it important to educate yourself on hoarding disorder before helping the individual
- Understand that this is a psychological condition, and the individual is not being “lazy”
- Read a book on hoarding disorder
- IOCDF Hoarding Fact Sheet
- Do not use judgmental language
- Try to see their point of view and imagine how they are feeling
- Be encouraging and set achievable goals
- Do not clear out their possessions right away, especially without their permission
- It has been found that cleanouts rarely work in the long-term
- They also cause further distress in the individual, and you may lose their trust
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy, skills training, hiring a professional organizer, group therapy and support groups, or medication are options
- There are a variety of treatment options, so you should discuss these with the individual
The resources below can help you help your family member or friend to make a positive, healthy change.
How to Talk to Someone with a Hoarding Problem
Do’s and Don’ts: When Talking to Someone with a Hoarding Problem
